He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
