I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
