So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
