Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
