I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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