I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
