too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
