That's intense
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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