I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize