I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
