Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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