winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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