There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize