why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
