At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
