first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
