We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
