If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
