Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize