I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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