I met the friendliest cop last night
please come you make the beer taste better
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
