people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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