I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
