a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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