so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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