Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
