Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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