South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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