Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
