I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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