3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize