i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
