I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
