If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
