I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
