Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
