I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
