What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
