do herpes really smell.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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