all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
