And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
