if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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