do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
