She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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