If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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