at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
