Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
