wakey wakey hands off snakey
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
