My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
