yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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