The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize