I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
