Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
