I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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