lets start a swedish sibling band together
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
