Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
