i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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