Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
