My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
