She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
