i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
