I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
