i may or may not be watching the land before time
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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