He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize