If that was your dad, he is hot
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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