also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize