can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
