youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
