Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize