Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I fill condoms, not promises.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
