i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
