Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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