I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
