are you still at the devil's house?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
