their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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