I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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