I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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